It’s pretty rare for me to venture into babysitting. It’s probably because kids know they are in control when it comes to me. Seriously, I’d be the nanny tied up with duct tape and kids dancing around me like the hooligans from Lord of the Flies. (That book is wicked scary.)
An emergency came up this past Sunday for a very dear friend and every one else must have been passed out from the night before, because I got the call.
Here’s our conversation:
Friend: Would you be able to watch my kids for a few hours?
Me: You know you called Anya right?
Friend: (sighs dramatically) Yes.
Me: Like “Anya who babysat and now you have permanent ink stains on your couch” Anya. (that was my attempt at creative babysitting)
Friend: Yes, could you be here in 30 minutes? Pretty please!
By this time I knew something was seriously wrong if she was begging me to babysit. So I said yes and rushed over.
Her kids are 4 (girl), 6 (boy), and 7 (boy). I call them Brat 1, Brat 2, and Brat 3. (Not to their face…. geesh).
The predator came alight in their eyes as soon as I walked in. My friend dashed out and I faced the enemy… I mean evil trio… I mean kids.
Before they could pounce on me I pulled out my only weapons. My iphone, kindle, and nook. (Yes, I have both kindle and nook… don’t judge)
They looked from me to the electronics trying to decide which one they would devour first. Luckily they grabbed the metal gods…. my new name for the genius inventions.
Three hours later and about $15 poorer from buying games where zombies eat your brains or something, my friend came home. All the children were still alive and I was only slightly curled into a ball. Somehow I had ended up in that position while Brat 1 had colored all over my arms and legs and downloaded songs about some Barbie princess and dancing ballerinas or something.
But I lived to tell the tale thank you very much. And now I will go back to my fetal position.
PS. Parents are amazing.
PSS. I’m still not sure what her emergency was. But I have a feeling it had something to do with ice cream and a nap.
PSSS. No children were harmed in this adventure, but my kindle will never be the same.